She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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