Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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