Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
