brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
