chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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