weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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