The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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