it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
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