Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
