haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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