Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
