Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
