I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
