I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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