i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
