They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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