my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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