when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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