all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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