It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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