Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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