all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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