did you get engaged???
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
