I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
