Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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