One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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