Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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