I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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