Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
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No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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