love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
