It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
