Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize