Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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