a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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