found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize