You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Apparently you make a good broom.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
