dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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