shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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