I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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