Screwed.edu
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
