i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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