I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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