my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
