ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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