i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
