Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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