I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Randomize
