Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
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I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
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You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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