Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
