There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
