She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
