I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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