Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
