that's an acceptable place to lick
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
