I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
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is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
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We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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