i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize