I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize