Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
