Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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