I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
