you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
